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Thursday 26 March 2015

Big Splash (Added more)

Drops of water splashing on the ground and classes routing for themselves. Yes I am talking about the Kauri Big Splash swimming event. The hosts of the Big Splash were Mr Benett and Mr Folder. The first event started off with the girls and it was freestyle. The rules were that you couldn’t run in the water but you were aloud to touch the ground if needed. Iona was swimming for room nineteen. The girls who were swimming had all positioned their arms ready for Mr Folder to say go.
“Ready.. Set.. GO!!!”
Mr Folder yelled and the girls were off. Iona was ahead of all the other girls and room nineteen went wild just like animals. Iona had won the race and our teacher Ms Hand just went ballistic, actually all of room nineteen went ballistic. Ms Hand rubbed it in Mr Waller’s face and because of that room nineteen and room twenty became rebels to each other. After a few rounds of the girls room nineteen had came first, first, first, second, second and once again first.
The boy’s turn to do freestyle.
First boy representing room nineteen was Kenz. All the boys and girls in each class was cheering for their swimmers.
“Ready.. Set… GO!” Mr Folder was pumped I could tell by the grin on his face.
Kenz was dashing through the water you was giving it his all and it became all worth it when he made it first to the other end of the pool. Another few boys swam and to make a long sentence short, room nineteen won both the girl’s and the boy’s freestyle races.
The next swimming event was the backstroke, starting off with the girls once again. The girls swimming for room nineteen were Melinda, Iona, Portia, Grace and Leiola. I forgot most of the details in that race but room twenty three started a chant that went “Lets go yellow lets go!” -clap clap-. Ms Hand got jealous so she just made a chant to room twenty three that goes like “Go blue!! Who are you??” So just because of that, room twenty three became enemies with room nineteen as well.
Boy’s turn for backstroke.
I don’t remember the details in that as well but all I do remember is that Kenz won his race and room nineteen once again became extremely happy cupcakes.
Next race was the noodle tow. Of course Andreas was in it, he is one of the biggest and strongest people in our class



This is my unfinished story again but I've added more to it. Any feedback on it?

2 comments:

  1. Hi Viliami, I think the story is very cool!
    I think you should add some images to make it better.
    Maybe ending it instead of leaving it there?
    But it is cool anyways!
    -Bastion

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  2. Hey Viliami,
    What a great recount. I enjoyed you using speech marks to show people talking, it makes it interesting to read and I can just imagine the people speaking in real life. You have included lots of excellent details, and told it in a way that I had to keep reading. Well done
    Mr Lyons

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